Wednesday, 13 January 2016


1. The premature I love you!
A relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Saying you love someone too soon creates all kinds of expectations of the other person, especially if they dont  know how they feel yet.
When someone falls in love with you and you with them, you both know. Theres no need to try and move things along simply because you think you need an answer. If they do then youll hear them say it soon enough and, more importantly, youll be able to believe it.

2. Obsessing over the past.
Believing life is only supposed to be one way will create a ton of regret and obsessing over when you zigged instead of zagged just means youll miss opportunities in the present. If theres nothing you can do to change the past then let it be.
Move on and do better.

3. Depending on their parents too much.
Failure to launch can be a relationship killer. Sure, its a red flag if they hate their parents or dont speak to them, but if they still depend on them for money or shelter or to clean up after their messes, you may want to throw that fish back into the pond until its big enough to swim on its own.

4. Is that you, Mommy?
I am not a living alarm clock and neither are you. Making someone else do basics of life for you is eventually going to make them feel like theyre responsible for you. You know who else feels that way? Parents.
Set your own alarm clock, clean the dishes when theyre dirty, and dont constantly ask permission to do things. If youre not being adults with one another then theres nothing that will clip the wick on a relationship faster.

5. Constant ultimatums that they dont even mean

 Everyone has deal breakers, and these things should be openly discussed and negotiated. However, if they threaten to break up with you if you eat the last piece of pizza, eat the last piece of pizza and run.

6. Fighting over nothing

What are we fighting about again? Do we even know? Are we now fighting about fighting? Is there a bridge I can jump off of now?
Everyones been in the middle of this one. Youre going about your business when suddenly at know how, but its here and your partner seems to be actively trying to misunderstand everything you say while simultaneously insisting that nothings really wrong.
wild miscommunication appears. You don
Unless you really dont know whats bothering you then taking out your frustrations on someone just because youre upset or because youre nervous about bringing something up is going to feel confusing or passive aggressive to your partner.
Arguments can be amazingly productive if both people know what theyre driving at. Picture that end goal of understanding one another and they will be.

7. Gas lighting.
This is when theyve done something wrong but wont admit it and act like youre crazy for even thinking it ever happened. If they have a habit of acting like youre crazy when youre absolutely correct, youd be crazy to stay with them.

8. Comparing past lovers.
Everyone has a past, but bringing it up over and over again to compare your former flames with your current one will only bring your relationship to an early end. Who cares what you did in your old relationship? Focus on the person youre with now.

9. Keeping score.
Can you be any more petty? Keeping score means youre going to be annoyed with them all the time. They didnt bring in the trash? They didnt pay for the groceries? Let it slide. Youre in a relationship and its about compromise and helping one another out. Dont be that jerk that brings it up every time your significant other doesnt do something.

10. Focusing on the wrongs.
People arent perfect. That means your partner wont always be right. If you focus on the wrongs, youre in for one miserable relationship. You wont ever be happy. I mean, what kind of relationship do you want? Seriously. Dont focus on how wrong they are. Tell yourself, theyre only human, and theyre prone to error just like you.

11. Constantly keeping tabs on you.

Its nice to know they care and worry about you. However, when it gets to the point where they want to implant a GPS system in your body so they know where you are at all times, youve crossed into the realm of the unhealthy. Make a getaway before theyre able to get the GPS chip inside you.

12. Holding grudges.

You dont expect them to forget, but if they dont forgivethen forget them. It was a year ago. Either break up with them or dont. #Truth

13. Gradually neglecting their personal hygiene.

When you first start dating, youll exercise, use teeth whitener, wear your sharpest clothes, and make sure theres not a speck of dirt on you, because the last thing you want to do is offend any of their senses. But once youre committed, sometimes its possible to be a little too secure. No relationship has ever ended because they never got to hear you fart, never smelled your feet, or never got a foul blast of your morning breath.

14. Giving the silent treatment.

Sometimes in the heat of a disagreement, its wise to take a breath and cool off so the argument doesnt escalate into something permanently damaging. On the other hand, going to sleep angry usually winds up with waking up twice as angry. Its a balancing actnot all disputes need to be resolved immediately, but its best not to let them fester, either.

By Jessica Winters.
(zonehouse In't media )

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